Break up barriers

The aftermath of a relationship break up can’t be fully explained,  starting from the particular moment it ends, to the pains the victim go through and the rest.

Of course, break up isn’t the issue I have here, because even marriages break so a simple dating relationship is just a puff. The annoying act in most break up situation is how each partner handles the ex. To some as soon as the relationship ends, the person becomes insignificant but watch it,  you are totally on a wrong track.

Sometimes ago, a male friend of mine was discussing his ex with his male folks and I was amidst them,  he literally basterdise the girl’s image right there, that if you were there,  you won’t want to have anything to do with her.  I was furious,  he started  with the line ” the babe dey cheap”,  I kept quiet as they prolonged their discussion hitting on the same point,  each person discussed about their ‘cheap’  ex girlfriends.  Again they picked the sex part of their relationship and started discussing the flaws the ladies had at it, there and then I asked them “How much are you worth?”  They were dumbfounded, they didn’t know how to answer, and so I repeated my question again but they were confused. I  asked each of them how long they were in the relationship they are talking about and the amazing thing is the lowest duration was 1 year,  I looked at them in the eyes and told them they are not from being called cheap, because if they could stay that long in a relationship, it means they aren’t frm them. At some point this  ‘cheap’  girl was your everything, is she cheap because she did somethings while you were together or you made her run bankrupt through your affair with her ? He had no answer to give.

The thing is this, either you are male or female, your ex doesn’t have to turn into a worthless object to you. At some point, you craved for him / her, you wanted to stay with spend every millisecond with the person. Things might have gone wrong and yes you are trying to place a limit on whatever contact you might be having with the person but don’t soil their goodness before every other person.

Whatever happened between the both of you in the past, either good or bad should stay in the past. You can revisit them in your head but don’t destroy your ex with it.

You guys might not be cool but eh! don’t use that against the person.

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I'm Christiana Oni (Sanchez May), a writer, lover, friend & teacher. Anything that comes in chocolate form is definitely my favorite.

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