Thing you should never say to your partner

Things you shouldn’t say to your partner isn’t new to you but there are several things you should never say  but sometimes you drop these statements without getting to know their effects on your partner. For example, “It’s not as if you are cute, I’m just sticking around because I like you”. There are some other statements that doesn’t come at your partner directly but are negative and hurting words and they all come from you.

“You can’t afford that” or “it’s too expensive for you to afford”

The moment you make this kind of statement to your partner, you suddenly become an Autocrat in the relationship. The only time you can tell your partner he /she is spending too much is when you share the same purse and you can tell what the both of you can afford to spend from the purse. Instead of saying “You can’t afford “while not have a discussion “Can we talk about our finances”.

“You remind me of my ex”

We get to find at least a common feature between our ex and our present partner but bringing the past into the present scene is extremely a bad idea, which can  cause a big misunderstanding between lovers. Discussing how you were hurt by your ex is quite ok but in situations you say “If it had been Debbie, she would have gotten me that tie” this is the interpretation the statement gives “My ex; Debbie, is far better than you, she cares so much about me that she provides some basic needs “Comparing your ex with your present can be disastrous.

“Thank you statements s*x, it was great”

Now, cut! That line is annoying, are you saying the previous sexes have been bad? Fine, I get it, you are trying to appreciate it but do you realise “The sex was great “might just be an expression to cover up your partner’s less agility during sex.

“How many people have you had sex with?”

Now, stop there! What are you thinking? The question is totally annoying. I understand the fact that we are humans and we are very inquisitive. The past must have happened to make the present but why bring back the past in our way? We are naturally curios as human but asking such a question can get you or your relationship hurt. And when you get to know the number of people your partner has had sex with in the past, does it increase your money in the bank?

“Your parents are terrible”

80% of couple have problems with their in-laws and throwing it at your partner isn’t the solution. Let your partner be aware of how his/ her family are treating you but say it calmly and respectfully. Let your partner know how frustrated and how hurt you feel about your in -laws.

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I'm Christiana Oni (Sanchez May), a writer, lover, friend & teacher. Anything that comes in chocolate form is definitely my favorite.

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